MTG Arena Question How does a man that's never played Magic Rise to the top so fast and dramatic? Winning my first and only competitive tournament That went down as a classic Let's go back to the past Back to when I was young and naive I was asked to compete for some reason They probably wanted some comic relief I was an amateur But in Magic I saw a challenge It was calling out And I was forced to answer it And join the gathering Before I knew it it was actually happening I happened too fast to be panicking I was packing my bags and was travelling To an international competitive celebrity battle Of Magic: The Gathering I'm winning at Magic: The Gathering My win ratio's actually staggering The top slot on the whole of our planet's The only one that I'm inhabiting I'm winning at Magic: The Gathering My win ratio's actually staggering The top slot on the whole of our planet's The only one that I'm inhabiting Whatever your tribe They better be hiding When I arrive at the arena I'm getting behind the enemy lines Your mind and the meta is mine I clean up Me and Autumn are sweeping the board Tap lands for all the mana we can afford There's no way we're leaving the tournament today Without receiving awards I was taught by the awesome Autumn Lily But that's not important really Because of course I'm clearly the one with the skill They merely brought it to me Yeah they might have built my decks But I was buffed already, want to feel my pecs? Yeah that wasn't even a real hard flex Next time I deal cards I will cast Hex I'm a swell singer when I start my sets I'm a Spellslinger with my starter sets Sat focused Known as the Black Lotus 'Cause I'm playing hard to get But Magic cards aren't the only commodity I collect I'm also amassing a mass of the massivest wins With which I command respect I'm winning at Magic: The Gathering My win ratio's actually staggering The top slot on the whole of our planet's The only one that I'm inhabiting I'm winning at Magic: The Gathering My win ratio's actually staggering The top slot on the whole of our planet's The only one that I'm inhabiting I have the highest win rate Of any professional Magic: The Gathering player In the world: 100% And I'm gonna keep it by never playing competitively again This is but a toast To Wizards of the Coast With tabletop gaming They're killing it the most I guess I shouldn't boast But every other competitor in it Has just given up the ghost I'm kicking Nicol Bolas in his old ass Booting him into the tall grass Hold fast when I control the whole stack Your cards spinning round like a draft Till they're all tapped Came forward for the fame, fortune And acclaim forcing every game my way Even when I shuffle I maintain order I'm the main draw Look at the day's scoreboard And my name's always in the same old place Raise the stakes like I became taller Playing me's an inhumane slaughter So remain cautious Planeswalkers I'm a plain talker But I use words like an acclaimed author Drawing mana from all the plains I'm dropping down like rainwater When it rains, it pours When I reign, I pause Never change the scores again I came, I saw, I conquered And left the tournament in scorching flame I'm winning at Magic: The Gathering My win ratio's actually staggering The top slot on the whole of our planet's The only one that I'm inhabiting I'm winning at Magic: The Gathering My win ratio's actually staggering The top slot on the whole of our planet's The only one that I'm inhabiting 100% win rate The highest of any professional Magic: The Gathering player In the world And I'm gonna keep it by never playing competitively again