What's it gonna be like when I leave you How's it gonna feel when I'm not there Oh that's one more joke I know You haven't noticed me in years Sick to my stomach Pale in the face Everyone's saying it's not a race But I'm done holding my breath And clenching my teeth Holding my breath And clenching my teeth I knock down the walls You build 'em back up You don't use nails Just blood and guts I swallow my pride I shadow myself Only got one life And I'm walking on eggshells Planning birthday parties For someone else I can't try anymore And it hurts like hell I'm at the edge I'm at the cease Stare the darkness down No, it won't stop me I'm done holding my breath And clenching my teeth It's not what I want But you don't want me I knock down the walls You build 'em back up You don't use nails Just blood and guts I swallow my pride I shadow myself Only got one life And I'm walking on eggshells Planning birthday parties For someone else I can't try anymore And it hurts like hell I guess loving me Ain't what it's cracked up to be I knock down the walls You build 'em back up You don't use nails Just blood and guts I swallow my pride I shadow myself Only got one life And I'm walking on eggshells Planning birthday parties For someone else I can't try anymore And it hurts like hell I guess loving me Ain't what it's cracked up to be Birthday parties Planning birthday parties Birthday parties Planning birthday parties