I knew from his statement
That redhead chili's waitress
Was more than just a happy hour call
Kicked him out of the house
But my names on his account
So who will get the last laugh after all

Screw self help, I'm gonna buy Chanel
Big sunglasses just like Jackie 0
Well he made his own bed
There won't be nothing left
Money can't buy happiness but it can buy clothes

I've tried wine and I've tried whiskey
The shrink he just don't get me
And pills only work momentarily
But shoes and purses
Go good when you're hurting
So I'm a fan of retail therapy

He won't even notice
Where all the money's going
I won't be returning a damn thing
I'll take my ass down to target
Say this is for you darling
With every red card charge I hope it stings

I've tried wine and I've tried whiskey
The shrink he just don't get me
And pills only work momentarily
But shoes and purses
Go good when you're hurting
So I'm a fan of retail therapy

It's hard to cry when the plastic swipes
Got a broken heart add more to the cart
It's hard to cry when the plastic swipes
Got a broken heart add more to the cart

I've tried wine and I've tried whiskey
The shrink he just don't get me
And pills only work momentarily
But shoes and purses
Go good when you're hurting
So I'm a fan of retail therapy

Yeah shoes and purses
Go good when you're hurting
So I'm a fan of retail therapy
Yeah I'm a fan of retail therapy