Well, I've already had two beers 
I'm ready for the broom
Please, Missus Henry, won't you 
Take me to my room ?
I'm a good old boy 
But I've been sniffin' too many eggs
Talkin' to too many people 
Drinkin' too many kegs
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry,
Please 
Please, Missus Henry, please
I'm down on my knees 
And I ain't got a dime.

Well, I'm groanin' in a hallway 
Pretty soon I'll be mad
Please, Missus Henry, won't you 
Take me to your dad ?
I can drink like a fish 
I can crawl like a snake
I can bite like a turkey 
I can slam like a drake
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry,
Please 
Please, Missus Henry, please
I'm down on my knees 
And I ain't got a dime.

Now, don't crowd me, lady 
Or I'll fill up your shoe
I'm a sweet bourbon daddy 
And tonight I am blue
I'm a thousand years old 
And I'm a generous bomb
I'm T-boned and punctured 
But I'm known to be calm
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry,
Please 
Please, Missus Henry, please
I'm down on my knees 
And I ain't got a dime.
Now, I'm startin' to drain 
My stool's gonna squeak
If I walk too much farther 
My crane's gonna leak
Look, Missus Henry 
There's only so much I can do
Why don't you look my way 
And pump me a few ?
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry,
Please 
Please, Missus Henry, please
I'm down on my knees 
And I ain't got a dime.