Looking back on how it began So young, so naive Desperate to be like them Or anyone but me Craving their validation For a sense of confirmation The feeling I needed It's just a phase It can't always be this way Please erase This fucking pain One day I'll be fine It's just temporary The ache inside my head I wish I could be numb instead False promises, false assurance Where do I go from here? It's tearing me at the seams The world is full of colour But all I see is grey I long for the tone to change View the world in a new way An endless cycle That I can't break Maybe it's just my fate I could've stopped but just let it happen How could I've known back then? I should but I'm too scared to try If things just stay the same Will I always feel this way? One day I'll be fine It's just temporary The ache inside my head I wish I could be numb instead False promises, false assurance Where do I go from here? It's tearing me at the seams Fell down the rabbit hole Where a grey cloud hung above I thought I could climb out Once I was finally loved The clouds they stayed around As I kept falling down And although I'm loved now I haven't made it out Clouds turn into rain I sink into the soil This is where I'll stay Fill the hole Where I lay Let water flow And my skin decay Is this where I'll always be? Will things ever change for me? I can't stay here Can I live on in your memory? What will one more decade change? What will one more day? Please give me a reason to stay