Big sister makes a face like a dog kept in a cage
She'll fly away on wings of honey and mayonnaise
Floors all scratched up from pushing stuff around
Head aching
Repainting the apartment for the second time since mama died
But it still sorta just looks the same
I know that I'm the evil one
That I make you think of her
Even still, I gotta keep moving on with my life
Glowing eyes watch me in the dark
Laughing at little doggies pissing in her vegetable garden
But we're a family, so we ate the salad anyways
One year to the day since I thought about death as a real thing
Late spring in pajamas, doing calisthenics on the fire escape
Neighbors seeing us kiss, double-taking at the buzzer names
Like "Wait, aren't those what's-her-name's kids?"
But it's none of their business
Summer came around
Somehow stuck behind the clouds
Trash TV way too loud
You can't fall asleep without the sound
I won't sing my song
If you find me gone tomorrow
I won't feel a thing
Doctors tearing up my body
God could not forgive
As we blink out of existence
I don't mind at all
Pretty sure we're ending up together
You say you wanna be saved
God wanted you to live
We're setting the tone
Forever going out sad
And no one needs songs where we're going
I'm not hoping for a fight but I know I see one coming
And I wake up so exhausted
I wake up with the dream still clinging
I'm so dishonest when I tell you that it's nothing
It is everything, I wake up feeling sorry and distant
In my head I see you flickering and losing light
What are you saying?
What do you mean?
I don't wanna be all alone again
When I wake up and I don't know where you are
Trying to act normal in a text "n_N"
God dammit I gave myself away
When you get home
That stupid annoying and oblivious look
As if these walls aren't filled with marrow
Baby, knock on wood
If the dust ever settled it'd be inches thick
But it never gets the chance
Because these bitches won't quit
Not again all the screaming all the losing it
And I just cry I don't know how to handle it
The superintendent seems like a pretty cool chick
She even smiles at us
She hasn't said shit
I won't sing my song
If you find me gone tomorrow
I won't feel a thing
Doctors tearing up my body
God could not forgive
As we blink out of existence
I don't mind at all
Pretty sure we're ending up together
Not this dream again
I don't wanna think about it
Always on my mind
Always seeing ? and knowing
That's not far behind
You were only getting coffee
Should have known to wait
