Hello, can I help you?
Yeah, do you do fat grafting?
Yes.
Oh great. I had a tail put on by Dr. Gordon.
OK.
And I want to have some fat grafted onto it. I want to 
thick it up.
You have some fat where?
Well, I have a tail attached to my spine and I want to 
thicken it up. I want it to be bigger.
Oh.
Would that be the botox injection? Or would that be the 
fat grafting?
OK, hold on a second. I don't think you have the right 
person.
OK, no problem.

Thanks for holding. May I help you?
Hi, yeah. I had a tail put on about 4 years ago, 
attached to my spine and I've got some hair growing on 
it that I need to get...
Well, come and get rid of it!
That's why I'm calling you! Can I come in tonight?
Actually, you can come in for a consultation. Let me 
tell you how we work here.
OK, please.
Sure. First of all, one session is not going to get rid 
of your hair. That's because hair grows in three 
phases. All human bodies need at least three sessions 
of laser treatment. And I say "at least" because if 
you're talking about let's say your beard, you may need 
up to eight.
Well, this is my tail.
Right, so then you obviously will need less. But I just 
want to educate you about, you know, different body 
parts.
Right.
So depending on the amount of hair you have, it will 
tell you how many sessions you will need.
But here is the best part of how we work.
What's that?
We offer you different types of enrollment. So if, 
let's say, we quote you a price... let's say, fifty 
dollars. You can pay as you go, every time you come in, 
fifty dollars. Or if you pay for three sessions up 
front, we will give you two complementary sessions. And 
that's our way of guaranteeing that your hair won't 
come back. Because we definitely don't want to see you 
five times for the same area. We try to give you the 
type of treatment that's gonna be effective. So if we 
do see you, hopefully it will be for a different body 
part.
[phone is ringing.]
Do you need to get the other line?
Umm, no, let's let it go. I'm fascinated by what you're 
saying. [snort]
OK, so this is what we do here. You come in, you watch 
a five-minute video, because we like our patients to be 
astute about what they're getting into. We do guarantee 
the lowest price, that the machine we use is the latest 
technology in the market today for hair removal. And we 
basically take a deposit from you because without the 
deposit we cannot book the time of the machine for your 
use.
OK.
And that's how we work.
That sounds great. I see here upper lip is 29 dollars, 
underarm is $39, bikini line $49, arm $119.
Yep.
How much for a tail?
Umm, it really depends. It really depends. It really...
It's about four feet long.
Four feet?
Yeah.
OK. You're talking about your head, right? Your head 
tail?
No. I have a tail attached to my spine.
A tail attached to your spine? On the lower spine?
Yeah.
And that was because of a surgery?
Yeah.
I see. And uh, ok, when you say four feet. . .four feet 
is the length of your hair?
No, it's the length of my tail.
Wow. That's a long tail.

And you guys just do laser hair removal?
No, actually we do microderm abrasion. We do lazer 
resurfacing. We do body contouring with endymology.
Do you do botox injections?

I'm a semi-amateur bodybuilder and weightlifter.
Then you should do your whole chest, your back, your 
legs!
Well, I want my face just to look like, you know, like, 
like care, you know.
I know what you mean.

Let me tell you how it works. They take a virus, they 
beat it up with a hammer, literally. OK, they make you 
weak, then they inject that weak virus into your 
muscle. Botulism virus causes paralysis, ok? So it 
basically temporarily paralyzes a muscle. Usually 
facial muscles, whatever.
Right.
Well, here's what happens. The body's normal reaction 
to a traditional virus is antibody release. OK, so now 
antibodies are going to come up to fight this virus.
You know what? I don't have time for this. I'm not 
wasting time here.

OK, I'm a semi-amateur weightlifter and I've got a 
competition coming out. And I don't know what the hell 
I'm gonna do. I look like an idiot. She injected the 
botox into my face and it completely killed my face.