What the hell is Tom Hanks doing here in this music vid?
Sitting in bed in pajamas mouthing along
And why is he doing such a terrible job of it?
Guess he didn't learn all the lyrics to this song
Oh no

This guy's movies have made billions 
He's won 2 Oscars and earnes milions 
He's one of the world's biggest movie stars 
So why do this dumb video?

You ask why am I in this video?
Well let me tell you 
I was signing several contracts and I got confused 
I must have mixed up all my papers cos the next thing I knew
I had signed up be in this 

What is wrong with you?
You're too famous to be in a pop song vid 
It's embarrassing!
I know!
But I signed a contract and if I back out I could be sued
We really can't 
Believe we used 
To look up to you 

It's been more than 3 years since "Call Me Maybe" was a hit 
After that my career fizzled out too soon 
I knew if the next song I released was a piece o shit
I'd end up waiting tables pushing a broom
Hell no

Music is a competition
You have to make sure people listen 
So I made a vid everyone will watch
Cos it shows Tom Hanks lip syncing 

This was a desperate and totally calculated move
Put a huge star in my new vid to drive YouTube views 
Why the heck does Tom Hanks have a Tinder profile I'm confused?
I have no clue
I searched for girls and he's on mine too

His lip syncing's so bad
That they hired us
To dance and distract 
From that 

Hi there Tom Hanks I'm driving by in a car waving to you!
This is all just product placement
Is this over soon?

This shot uses lens flare 
Like J.J. Abrams
I hope this shoot wraps soon
I'm really losing patience!

We've just got one scene left 
We're doing the dance scene next 
I need to tell you something 
I'm extremely constipated right now 
Ew
You want some prune juice n*gga?
Yeah!

This is the worst dancing that anybody could ever do
There was no time to rehearse it
Cos I'm leaving soon 
The choreographer looks sick I think he's about to puke

I can't take this awful dancing 
I need a men's room!
I'm so fed up with this!

Hey Justin Bieber!
I'm so glad you're here
I'm here 
I'm producing a new movie 
You'd be the perfect star dude 
It's a remake of Forrest Gump
Wow I would love to 
Swag