You can find me over there at the bar 
You ain't even gotta ask 
I don't know where they are 
I'm a bad bad daddy 
I'm a bad bad daddy 
And I'm nasty 
And I still ain't callin it quits 
But Sean, what the fucks wrong with all of your kids 
I'm a bad bad daddy 
I'm a bad bad daddy 

Sittin at the bar just minding my biz 
I came down with all nine of my kids 
And they all got an attitude 
Mad cause I said we can't go to the zoo 
It's not a lie 
But daddys too high 
If I drive, I will probably catch a DUI 
Here, play with this pitcher of beer 
Sit in there chairs, and don't disappear 
Everybody on your best behavior 
Tip the waitress, respect your neighbors 
I'll be watchin 
You know what not to do 
Don't make me walk over here 
Just to talk to you 
I gave em all some money 
So they could play pinball and put 
grub in they tummies 
Now Imma go get bombed 
And you better not tell your mom 
And like clockwork, soon as I stepped away 
You know they got worse 
They didn't hesitate 
Of course they start with the horseplay 
And then it escalates 
Then you get a court case 
Little Sluggos 
Thugs and cutthroats 
Big trouble, cigarettes, puff those 
Smash bottles on the floor and 
Writing graffiti, fighting with the door man 
Playin with switchblades and matches 
Pick pocketin the cash and the plastic 
Gettin high out back by the trashcans 
Tryin to get the waitress to give a lapdance 
I can't control em 
So Imma pretend I don't know em 
Now let me celebrate and get drunk 
Cause my wife missed her period again this month 

You can find me over there at the bar 
You ain't even gotta ask, I don't know where they are 
I'm a bad bad daddy 
I'm a bad bad daddy 
And I'm nasty 
And I still ain't callin it quits 
But Sean, what the fucks wrong with all of your kids 
I'm a bad bad daddy 
I'm a bad bad daddy 
Somebody slap me