H shit I'm drunk again 
I have to find a taxi I cannot drive the van 
Vodka and tequila helped me through the night 
Don't know who I am something's disturbing my sight 
I really should be at home but I can't remember where I live 
Got sick all over my girlfriend and again I have to piss 

Crawling home for the 5th time this week 
My liver and my stomach are playing hide and seek 
But I don't worry I'm happy when I drink 
And I don't care if my friends say I stink 

It's Saturday night I am in a fight 
Someone took my girlfriend I had to set it right 
Smashed the fucker's face with a bottle of gin 
Showed him places of the bar where he never could have been 
But he was not alone his friends came after me 
Ran as fast as I could but now I'm dizzy on my knees 

Crawling home for the 5th time this week 
Lost 3 teeth and there's blood on my shirt 
Some busted ribs a broken jaw 
A guy with a baseball bat was the last thing I saw