Look
I cherish how far we've come, sometime my thoughts in the past
Apartment 1719, me, Todd, my mom, it ain't past five yet
So pops is working, got his foot on the gas
Tryna get us up out of there, give us new views on new paths
Now at the time, uh, I was only like five
But flashbacks be way too vivid, they ingrained in my mind
Watching [?] mom and dad watching me from outside
Through the back door on the deck where they spent lots of they time
Cigarettes would fill they chest with plenty more than just smoke
Use it to cope with the stress that come when you start losing hope
I knew that shit was bad for 'em, but again I was five
Yeah, ignorance is bliss but now I see the reason behind
The deeper meanings of everything, all the reasons they did
Anything they ever did like having kids while they kids
Early twenties, they was hustling, can't imagine the pressure
That my father must have felt but never felt he was never the type
To hear a word no and say, "Aight, like, whatever"
If he saw it in his mind best believe he gon' get a
Little piece for himself, bring the family some too
And everybody knew that that's exactly what he's gon' do
And then he did it
We moved to a new house, my little sister was born
I remember I got a red X Games bike for Christmas and shit
I was on cloud nine as a kid, you know what I'm saying?
I was in third grade at school, a kid was talking 'bout his mom and dad
He said he don't want to leave and go home 'cause his mom was mad
And last night he said he watched his pops get in the cab
That his mama called and pulled up to his crib and his father left
My curiosity was eating at me, couldn't even imagine
My parents were so in love, no way for me that's what happened
Felt bad but needed to ask him while he thinks that it happened
He said neither of them happy, been fighting for years, it's tragic
Lunchtime, I sat alone, that wasn't like me
But my mind was spinning, I'm thinking how my parents been fighting
More than usual, I seen coffee pots fly and shatter on the walls
I was feeling doomed and it moved me to tears
I drank my little carton of milk
And prayed to God that nothing that kid just told me was real
But in my heart I had a feeling only time would reveal
My newest biggest fear would come to life, my body in chills
One night me and my brother Todd were playing basketball
The hoop was on the door at the top, our parents arguing
They voices raising like dried grapes in a box
Was used to it, but this time just felt like something was off
And then we heard, "Todd and Austin, come downstairs"
Started walking, heart was racing, knew what we 'boutta hear
Sat us on the couch, they looked and paused, eyes filled with tears
They told us both they splitting up, divorce was set for next year, damn
That's like my whole life
Yeah
See God had blessed me with a life where I had both of my parents
Ended up leaving each other but planned so time can be shared, it's
Fifty-fifty custody, Monday and Tuesday was mom's
Wednesdays and Thursday was pops'
Fridays and weekends switched off
And although it was hard, that shit created a bond
Between me and each of my parents individually, I saw
How they's affected by it everyday, mama tryna make some pay
Food upon the plate [?] go ahead and make 'em play
It's funny how then every day felt like a rainy day
Till we control the rain with money guns, load 'em and let 'em spray
It's crunch time, all about the crunch time
How you use your chip on your shoulder but never hunch down
Staying true to why you do it with no fear, being on the front lines
Dad crazy enough to chase his dream, so what's mine?
Rewind, yeah, we climb, they say it's all 'cause me, nah
Tryna take y'all back to times I hold close but I left behind
See when we were back in the apartment before his invention took off
My dad was working so much at this blue-collar job
But he had dreams and used his self-taught knowledge
And the pressure of survival that he grew up with to his advantage
And he did something beautiful for himself as a man
And now being the age that he was
Back when he had a whole-ass family to take care of and provide for
I can't understand how he did it
But I see similarities in mine in his story
Started writing in my notes app on my phone with it
Thumbs moving like they do now with the blue notes and shit
Early on I was writing songs and I done rolled some hits
Before that money, all these things that caused those who was close to switch
And I don't trip but I think of pops working them overshifts
He had a dream, did everything to get closer to what he visioned in his mind
Working at it through lunch breaks [?]
Only place he had the tools to bring to life the things he saw in his mind
That dirty workshop was his booth, the pen he used the same as mine
Both writing down every idea beyond the space between the lines
It's hard to see and understand when you got a unique mind
Feel you're always a step ahead leading people that sheep blind
Even with bullshit going on, you find yourself back to the grind
'Cause you know eventually you'll make it out, just give it time
Try different things, roll with the punches, never know what you gon' find
My pops really been through it all, good and bad and he stay smiling
Just like me
