I did not ask for a lot this year 
Every single day 
Looking for an answer to the words you say 
Never got to meet the President 
Never got to shake his squirly hand 
Oh, don't you know the President 
Is out for tea with Tony Blair 
He won't be back for hours maybe, homeboy 

I'd be so happy if I got to meet George Bush 
He's like an angel when Rebecca hears me calling 
I would dance on NBC and say 
'George Bush shook hands with me' 
Then I'd go and choke on a cock 

And Guinevere would find me leaving home 
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone 
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone, I know 
I'd be the greatest singer on the radio 

Leaning on the raging river flats 
Sliding off a single blade of grass 
Oh, don't you know the A.D.A. 
Is brushing teeth with Johnny J 
They won't be smashing flowers, meet me no more 

I'd be so happy if I bid it all on you 
And never answer when Rebecca asks me questions 
I'd lay down to some degree 
And say John Stern locked lips with me 
And then I'd go and choke 
For then I'd go and choke 
For then I'd go and choke on a cock