So...cold cooling at a ball and im looking for some action but like Mick Jagger said I can't get no satisfaction the girls are all around but none of them wanna get with me my threads are fresh and I'm looking def yo, wassup with the l-o-c the girls are all jocking at the other end of the bar having drinks with some no-name chump when they know that I'm the star so I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina I asked the guy, "why you so fly?" he said "funky cold medina" this brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks put a little medina in your glass and the girls'll come real quick it's better than any alcohol or afrodesiac a couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap so I gave some to my dog, when he began to beg and then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg he used to scratch and bite me before he was much much meaner but now all the poodles run to my house for the funky cold medina you know what I'm saying I got every dog in my neighborhood breaking down my door I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's they won't leave my dog alone with that medina thing I went up to this girl she said "Hi, my name Sheena" I thought she'd be good to go with a little funk cold medina, she said "I'd like a drink", I said "ok, I'll go get it" and then a couple of sips, she cold licked her lips and I knew that she was with it so I took her to my crib and everything went well as planned but when she got undressed it was big old mess Sheena was a man so I threw him out I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer weiner you must be sure that the girl is pure for the funky cold medina you know, ain't no plans with a man, this is the 80s and I'm down the ladies, break it down, back in the saddle, looking for a little affection I took a shot, I thought I'd test it on the Love Connection the audience guests voted, and you know, they picked a winner I took my date to the Hilton ford media had some dinner she had a few drinks, I'm thinking soon what I'd be getting, but that's when she starting talking 'bout plans for a wedding, I said "wait, slow down love, not so fast, I'll be seeing ya", that's why I found you don't play around with the funky cold medina you know what I'm saying that medina's a monster y'all