I hate to sound rude, I hate to be negative This ain't the kind of song I like to write But at this point it's getting repetitive The little things you do that just ain't so bright Like you think everything I do's because of astrology I could brush my teeth, you'd be like "you're such an Aries" You got that pretty face and that beautiful body But ain't no way in hell we ever gettin' married 'Cause, girl, you're like ranch dressing I just want you on the side Your body is fantastic But I can't say the same for your mind No Girl, you cool enough But this will never be no real, real love I want your thick and creamy body On a platter at the party Just to nibble on, just like ranch dressing You told me what your name on Twitter was so I followed you Yesterday you tweeted "lol" What the fuck is so funny and who are you talking to? You don't know how to use the internet very well Girl, you're like ranch dressing I just want you on the side Your body is fantastic But I can't say the same for your mind No Girl, you cool enough But this will never be no real, real love I want your thick and creamy body On a platter at the party Just to nibble on, just like ranch dressing I took you on a nice date 'cause it was Valentine's To Beverly Hills at a really bougy spot The waiter did that thing where he has you test out the wine You slammed it and said "What other free samples y'all got?" Later on that night things got hot and heavy I said "hey girl are you on the pill?" The bitch thought I was talking about MDMA She said "I ain't take none, but if you got some I will" Girl, you're like ranch dressing You're not often served at nice restaurants Your body is fantastic But you talk like that South Carolina Miss America contestant Girl, you cool enough But this will never be no real, real love 'Cause you only good for dippin' You in the valley and hidden Though I really like your texture You always a little bit extra I only wanna to eat ya When I'm drunk ordering pizza After last call Just like ranch dressing