It seems like only yesterday 
When my father sat me down, and said: 
"Have a good gig at the Prince Pat tomorrow night." 
It was actually this morning 
And he got the dates confused 
(My Dad... he's a f**kwit! ) 

I remember another time 
When my father sat me down and said: 
"The people in the row behind can't see." 
I said, "Dad, we're on a bus, 
And there's nothing much to see." 
And he said, 
"The landscape, son. The landscape." 

When I reached a certain age 
As all the young boys do 
My body started changing 
I grew another head 
I had an operation 
And I had that head removed 
Which was fortunate 'cause at the time there was a 
shortage of head donors 

My Dad took really good care of me 
Sat by my side every day 
When I started to recover 
Dad told me I was old enough 
To hear some of the things he had to say 
Hey hey hey 

My Dad said 
"Son, you've turned out nice 
You're old enough to hear my advice 
You're a man now 
And so I want to tell you what I know 

"Son, keep your receipts 
Keep your receipts 
If money is a cash cow, then planning is the meat, 
So son, keep your receipts 
Keep your receipts 

"Son, keep your receipts 
Keep your receipts. 
If life's a bog in Ireland, then wisdom is the peat 
So son, keep your receipts 
Keep your receipts."