Well, I'm a lonesome schoolboy And I just came into town Yeah, I'm a lonesome schoolboy And I just came into town Well, I heard so much about London I decided to check it out Well, I wait in Leicester Square With a come-hither look in my eye Yeah, I'm leaning on Nelsons Column But all I do is talk to the lions Oh where can I get my cock sucked? Where can I get my ass fucked? I may have no money, But I know where to put it every time Well, I asked a young policeman If he'd only lock me up for the night Well, I've had pigs in the farmyard, Some of them, some of them, they're alright Well, he fucked me with his truncheon And his helmet was way too tight Oh where can I get my cock sucked? Where can I get my ass fucked? I ain't got no money, But I know where to put it every time I'm a lonesome schoolboy in your town I'm a lonesome schoolboy