At words poetic I'm so pathetic That I always have found it best Instead of getting it off my chest To let 'em rest unexpressed I hate parading my serenading As I'll probably miss a bar But if this ditty is not so pretty At least it'll tell you how great you are You're the top - you're the Coliseum. You're the top - mmm… you're the Louvre museum. You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss. You're a Bendel bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet, You're Mickey Mouse. You're the Nile - You're the tower of Pisa. You're the smile - on the Mona Lisa. I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop. But if baby I'm the bottom, you're the top. Your the top! -you're Mahatma Ghandi. You're the top - you are Napoleon brandy. You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain. You're the National Gallery, You're Garbo's salary, You're cellophane. You are sublime, you're a turkey dinner. You're the time - the time of the Derby winner. I'm a toy balloon that is fated soon to pop. But if baby I'm the bottom, you're the top, top. Steve, there is something I got to tell ya.. What is it Judy? Well, umm… You're the top I am? - mmm …You're a Waldorf salad Oh No, no let me say it You're the top me too? - You're a Berlin ballad You're the nimble tread of the feet of Fred Astaire well, Actually I don't dance very well You're an O'Neill drama, you're Whistler's Mother - Mama oh, You're Camembert. Camembert, well, You're a rose, mmm. that is sweet You're Inferno's Dante. That's a very intellectual reference You're the nose - watch it! I mean Whatwhatwhawha what- on the great Durante. Ah, That's better I'm the lazy lout who is just about to storm Let's not storm But if baby I'm the bottom, She's the one for me And I've got 'im Cuz if baby I'm the bottom, You're the top.