Don't play football 
We play Fenders 
We chop fish in kitchen blenders 
We're a disgrace to our gender 
We're the men! 

Always together night and day 
It makes our girlfriends think we're gay 
But who needs women 
When you've got friends? 
We're the men! 

The men will never let me down 
The men will always be around 
The men won't argue, scratch, or fight 
The men won't say
"I've got a headache tonight"! 

On Friday night we'll all jump in a car 
And blow all our money at a go-go bar 
Sober up for a week to do it over again because 
We're the men! 

We're twenty-one 
But we act like we're ten 
We're as immature as we've ever been 
Maybe we'll grow up
But I don't know when because 
We're the men! 

We'll get together 
Drink together 
Sweat together 
Stink together 
Laugh together 
Cry together 
Live together 
And die together! 

We're the men...