And funny things happen to Ida When little boys look her way She's not afraid to say hello It's just one of her funny days Give her the key and she's ready to fire Burn like garbage in the can She's not colonial or European Ida-Ho is just an Englishman And a mocking monkey isn't talking anymore Ida lurks behind every door Give her the key and she's ready to fire She's a native and she understands Americana the son of Sam Cakes and wine and a little sunshine She has no heart but a lot of soul Oh the mocking monkey doesn't talk anymore Ida lurks behind every door No wise tonight to show them fright Everything in heaven's so fine The meatmen are incredibly kind A public revenge will always get you in the end That's the mess that scalpels make She stalks through the streets cheek by jowl Cheek by jowl, and an awful scowl That's a nice new dress Yes, mama chose best And funny things happen to Ida-Ho When the big boys say hello No, no, don't mess with the girl With a name like Ida-Ho Everything in heaven's so fine The meatmen are incredibly kind A public revenge will always get you in the end That's the mess that scalpels make What is wrong with those people out there Do those anxious swordsmen go mad en masse No, Ida-Ho is saying Mass Pay your respects to another cigarette Everything in heaven's so fine The meatmen are incredibly kind A public revenge will always get you in the end That's the mess that scalpels make She walks through the streets And she's ready to fire Ida laughs with an awful howl No jockstrap flags, and no more rules No kick-ass laughs from the golden mule Look what a mess, yes, mama knows best Everything in heaven's so fine The meatmen are incredibly kind A public revenge will always get you in the end Just like the mess that scalpels make