What will it take to make you happy
What will it take to stop your whining
What will it take to make you ?
What will it take to stop your crying

I know that you've been so bored since the Circle K closed down
So if it makes you feel a bit better, just picture me
Crying, crying in my beer

I got a feeling you've been damaged
I think you've got way too much time on your hands
I throw away your stupid little letter

Like Margie Whipple you don't get it
If you were a TV show baby you would've been cancelled
Due to declining viewership, recycled plots, and bad acting

Crying in my beer
It's pointless to wonder what life would be like with you and me
'Cause me minus you equals one less little parasite less
I'm crying in my beer