Jessica Fletcher and Lieutenant Columbo They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you Captain Hastings and Hercule pyro They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you You're a murder mystery Of that, there's no doubt And not even Quince could figure you out You're a murder mystery And you're freaking me out Doctor Watson and Sherlock Holmes They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you Sergeant Lewis and Juliet Bravo They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you You're a murder mystery Of that there's no doubt Not even Quincy could figure you out You're a murder mystery And you're freaking me out Yeah, you're freaking me out Yeah, you're freaking me out Yeah, you're freaking me out You're a devious swine Of that, there's no doubt You've a criminal mind But I'm working you out Just give me more time You're a murder mystery Of that there's no doubt And not even Quince or the dog from due South You're a murder mystery And you're freaking me out You're a murder mystery And you're freaking me out Murder mystery Murder mystery Murder mystery Murder mystery Murder mystery Murder mystery Murder mystery Murder mystery Murder, murder Agatha Christie and Daphne DeMaurier They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you But I hope I do