A man's got a heart, hasn't he? Joking apart, hasn't he? And though I'd be the first one to say that I wasn't a saint I'm finding it hard to be really as black as they paint I'm reviewing the situation Can a fellow be a villain all his life? All the trials and tribulation Better settle down and get myself a wife And a wife would cook and sew for me And come for me, and go for me And go for me and nag at me The fingers she will wag at me The money she will take from me A misery, she'll make from me I think I'd better think it out again! A wife you can keep, anyway I'd rather sleep, anyway Left without anyone in the world And I'm starting from now So how to win friends and to influence people? So how? I'm reviewing the situation I must quickly look up ev'ryone I know Titled people, with a station Who can help me make a real impressive show! I will own a suite at Claridges And run a fleet of carriages And wave at all the duchesses With friendliness, as much as is Befitting of my new estate "Good morning to you, Magistrate!" I think I'd better think it out again I'm reviewing the situation I'm a bad 'un and a bad 'un I shall stay! You'll be seeing no transformation But it's wrong to be a rogue in ev'ry way I don't want nobody hurt for me Or made to do the dirt for me This rotten life is not for me It's getting far too hot for me Don't want no one to rob for me But who will find a job for me There is no in between for me But who will change the scene for me? I think I'd better think it out again!