I come from a land of kebabs and curries, Second helpings, no worries. Pile the carbs upon the plate, Then one day, it's too late. No breakfast, no luncheon, Just carpets I'm munching, A thimble of self-esteem. Glazed nothing for afters, an absence of laughter, The saddest that I've ever been. You just can't be portly, not this side of 40, Showbiz, a single chin game. Scum paparazzi's and weight police nasties Have narrowed the hall of fame. No one likes a fat pop star, Pop is a place for the thin. No one likes a fat pop star, We want to hear thin people sing! When I get faint, I chew through my restraints It's the best meal that I've had all week. If I could eat my own words, I'd tear through the verbs But nobody pays me to speak. No one likes a fat pop star, Pop is a place for the thin. No one like a fat pop star We want to hear thin people sing! Now you've upset me, I feel like a snack. A packet of Minstrels, a pie and a nap. So what's wrong with that? No breakfast, no luncheon, Just carpets I'm munching, A thimble of self-esteem. Glazed nothing for afters, an absence of laughter, The thinnest that I've ever been. Thank you