Well, now, things are strange at my old alma mater
They're changing things that they might not oughta
And you can call me an old fuddy-duddy, I guess
But, they threw out teaching the ABC's
Added CRT, and new biology
And you can't deny what they call "amazing progress"
Especially, since Bubba changed his name to Charlene
Went out, enjoying the girls' swimming team
Well, now, we've won every race
Broke every record in the state
And that beats anything I've ever seen
And since Bubba changed his name to Charlene
We're seein' things not meant to be seen
Yeah, no matter how you slice it
It's hard to keep his business private
Now that Bubba's changed his name to Charlene
And went out, enjoying the girls' swimming team
Now, if we continue in this pursuit
We'll need to rethink those bathing suits
They been gettin' skimpier and skimpier, and that's gotta stop
No more swimming suits by Christian Dior
That's just not gonna work anymore
We need a lot more fabric at the bottom than on the top
Since Bubba changed his name to Charlene
Went out, enjoying the girls' swimming team
Well, we've won every race
Broke every record in the state
And now, we're making him homecoming queen
The whole senior class is predominantly Caucasian, heh
But, this year, they've decided to identify as Asian
It's not that they don't want their White privilege anymore
They just all thought it might help their SAT scores
And since Bubba changed his name to Charlene
Went out, enjoying the girls' swimming team
Yes, we've won every race
Broke every record in the state
And now, we're making him homecoming queen
Since Bubba changed his name to Charlene
But, you know, this is workin' out pretty good
I mean, my wife now identifies as my husband
So, I bought her a new bass boat for her birthday
Yeah, and she bought me a big, diamond necklace for my birthday
Oh-ho, it's a win-win situation
