Now Charlie Summers has a barber's shop And the prettiest wife in town I saw him on the street the other day He said, why ain't you been around Come in tomorrow I'll give you a shave And it won't cost you a cent I rubbed by chin in puzzlement But the next day there I went Now he didn't smile when I said hello And climbed up on his chair Just a shave today, is all he said I ain't got time to cut your hair And he tucked the towel around my neck And he pulled it back real tight I rubbed my chin as I looked at him I thought something round here ain't right He took the cup and he whipped the soap And he slapped it on my jaw I thought to myself that's a little bit rough As some splashed on the floor He covered my face till just my eyes Peered out from under the foam When I watched him move to the razor strop I wished I'd stayed at home He stropped that blade about fifty times As miserable as sin He jerked my whole head backwards He put the razor under my chin He leaned to my ear in a threatening tone That was full of stress and strife His smokey breath seared me to death He said have you been seeing my wife Charlie I said as I spat out foam How long have we been pals I don't know what you're talking about It must be someone else He finished the shave and he towelled me down And I went to pay the bill No, charge says he that's down to me And I walked out past the bill I wondered what made him think of me Fooling with his wife And him with a blade in his right hand Sharper than any knife Whether or not he'd hit the truth I will take it to my grave But when I rub my chin I think of him That was a pretty close shave