It was a used car dealer's election And the choice was rather small The boys agreed, "It's the war we need So there's no president at all" Here's to Nixon and Agnew They are the stars of the stage and screen Not since Laurel and Hardy Have I laughed so hard, I screamed I thought that Johnson was the devil I thought we couldn't do no worse Now the White House stands in Disneyland This country must be under a curse Here's to Nixon and Agnew They are the stars of the stage and screen Not since Laurel and Hardy Have I laughed so hard, I screamed I dreamed that Nixon died of a suntan There was only Spiro left At his swearing in, he fell on his chin He assassinated himself Here's to Nixon and Agnew They are the stars of the stage and screen Not since Laurel and Hardy Have I laughed so hard, I screamed