THE SHIPPING FORECAST ISSUED BY THE MET OFFICE AT 0130 ON SUNDAY THE 31ST OF DECEMBER THERE ARE WARNINGS OF GALES IN ALL AREAS EXCEPT TRAFALGAR THE GENERAL SYNOPSIS AT 0800 LOW EAST OF HUMBER 942 EXPECTED FAIR ISLE 954 BY 0600 TOMORROW. NEW LOW EXPECTED 100 MILES WEST OF SHANNON 974 BY SAME TIME NOW THE AREA FORECASTS FOR THE NEXT 168 HOURS VIKING NORTH UTSIRE SOUTH UTSIRE SOUTHEASTERLY 3. RAIN AT TIMES. VISABILITY GOOD. CALM FORTIES CROMARTY FORTH TYNE DOGGER EAST OR SOUTHEAST 6 TO GALE 8. HESITATION. RAIN OR SHOWERS. HOPE. MODERATE OR GOOD FISHER GERMAN BIGHT SOUTHEASTERLY VEERING SOUTHWESTERLY 4. RAIN LATER. RISING TEMPERATURE. PRESSURE BUILDING. WILD SPECULATION. GOOD HUMBER THAMES SOUTHEASTERLY 5 TO 7, OCCASIONALLY GALE 8, CAUTION VEERING SOUTHWESTERLY LATER. GOOSEBUMPS. DIZZY SPELLS. STILL GOOD DOVER WIGHT SOUTHEASTERLY VEERING SOUTHWESTERLY 7 OR SEVERE GALE 9. HEAD-ON IMPACT. CONTINENTS COLLIDE. ATOMS SPLIT. DILATED PUPILS. ELATION. VERTIGO. VISIBILITY ZERO. PORTLAND PLYMOUTH BISCAY SOUTHEASTERLY BECOMING CYCLONIC 6 TO GALE 8. SNOW FALLING. DEFENCES BREACHED. ICELANDIC CALM. RAPTURE. GOOD BECOMING MODERATE FINISTERRE SOUTH VEERING SOUTHWEST 7 TO SEVERE EMOTIONAL FREEFALL 9, STOMACH CRAMPS INCREASING 5 OR 6. RAIN THEN THUNDERY SHOWERS. BRUISING. DISCORD. STRUCTURAL DAMAGE. MODERATE BECOMING POOR. SOLE LUNDY FASTNET SOUTHWESTERLY 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9 DECREASING 5 OR 6. CONFUSION REIGNS. NAUSEA. BOILING SEAS. SHOWERS BECOMING THUNDERY. EXTREME LOW EXTREME LOW IRISH SEA SOUTHWESTERLY 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9 DECREASING 5 OR 6. SQUALLY SHOWERS. BLANK PATCHES. CONFUSION REIGNS. MODERATE BECOMING POOR SOUTH SHANNON SOUTHWESTERLY 6 TO GALE 8, OCCASIONALLY SEVERE GALE 9. NERVES SHATTERED. SELF REPROACH. RAIN OR SHOWERS. NO CHANGE. NORTH SHANNON SOUTH ROCKALL SOUTHEASTERLY VEERING WILDLY 7 OR GALE 8, DECREASING PERCEPTION. RAIN THEN SHOWERS. DRUNKEN HAZE. COLD COMFORT. MODERATE BECOMING GOOD NORTH ROCKALL MAINLY WESTERLY 6 TO GALE 8. RAIN OR THUNDERY SHOWERS. EXHAUSTION. BOREDOM. DECAY. MODERATE OR POOR MALIN HEBRIDES CYCLONIC BECOMING REALITY, OCCASIONALLY GALE 8, BACKING SOUTHERLY LATER. BROKEN AND DISORIENTATED. RAIN OR SHOWERS. MODERATATION LACKING BAILEY SOUTHERLY VEERING WESTERLY 6 OR 7, DECREASING 4 OR 5. NUMB. DEFEATED. FREEZING FOG. STRANDED. DULL ACHES. POORLY FAIR ISLE FAEROES SOUTHEASTERLY BECOMING CYCLONIC, THEN WESTERLY 5 TO 7, TOIL, OCCASIONAL STUPIDITY. SULLEN. RAIN. MODERATE OR GOOD SOUTHEAST ICELAND SOUTHEASTERLY 5 TO 7, TWISTED OCCASIONALLY GALE 8, VEERING WESTERLY IN SOUTH. CORRODED AND EMPTY. ICE FORMING. HELIOGOLAND PLANET-STRUCK AND SPELLBOUND. THE WRECK OF MATTER AND THE CRUSH OF WORLDS.