I went out with my umbrella; It looked a little grim The sky was black. The air was cold. The day was gray and dim But as I strolled towards my goal, the sun burst through the clouds I threw down my umbrella and then I cried out loud [Chorus] Oh! The future is the past, that hasn't happened yet And everybody knows that what you see is what you get But the movies in your mind is a place you can not find And if you see ahead, you are missing your behind I drove out to the airport I tried not to be late But I was very nervous as I walked up to the gate I dreamed I saw an albatross that soared across the sky And then I heard our plane had crashed and everyone had died [Chorus] I learned I had a tumor; I knew that I would die I made a will, I took a pill, and prayed to God on high But when I walked toward the light, I learned the truth at last I'd been born in my own colon and the world was up my ass [Chorus]