Every Sperm Is Sacred

Monty Python

There are Jews in the world. 
There are Buddhists. 
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then 
There are those that follow Mohammed, but 
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic, 
And have been since before I was born, 
And the one thing they say about Catholics is: 
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer. 
You don't have to have a great brain. 
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're 
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred. 
Every sperm is great. 
If a sperm is wasted, 
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred. 
Every sperm is great. 
If a sperm is wasted, 
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs 
On the dusty ground. 
God shall make them pay for 
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted. 
Every sperm is good. 
Every sperm is needed 
In your neighborhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon, 
Spill theirs just anywhere, 
But God loves those who treat their 
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred. 
Every sperm is great. 

If a sperm is wasted,... 
...God get quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred. 
BRIDE and GROOM: 
Every sperm is good. 
Every sperm is needed...  
...In your neighbourhood!

Every sperm is useful. 
Every sperm is fine. 
God needs everybody's. 

Mine! 
And mine! 

And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs 
O'er mountain, hill, and plain. 

God shall strike them down for 
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred. 
Every sperm is good. 
Every sperm is needed 
In your neighborhood.

Every sperm is sacred. 
Every sperm is great. 
If a sperm is wasted, 
God gets quite iraaaaaate!