It was MacDougal in Manhattan, that's when it really started
I was served a glass of wine without even being carded
So I partied on the barley, was a beast on the yeast
Graduation, drank champagne, heckled Bill Cosby's speech
Holiday Inn, Hollywood, I would wallow in gin
Watched the ladies at the pool that I never saw swim
Moved back in with my parents in a high rise that's high maintenance
Waited tables at Houlihan's, met waiters who get libations
When they bellowed "get the hell out!" we'd find bars that stayed open
Hope I don't wake my folks, if they knew my heart would be broken
Guess it already was, that's why I'm always so buzzed
Can't confront all the crud, what I want's to be loved
Detective dad solved the case of the disappearing liquid
Want him to feel how it felt, want him to see we're both addicted
Sat me down, said "your mother thinks you're drinking too much
I just want you to think about it, you're too young for a crutch"
Mom found my marijuana, dad delivered decrees
"You get out of my house if you be smoking that weed"
I said, "you're a hypocrite that's addicted as well
You've been drunk my whole life, it's like I'm living in hell"
He said I should grow up, maybe corral a career
They left, I'm bereft, a hefty bag full of fear
The doorman took my stuff to the tougher side of town
The house of broken balls was a squall in which I drowned
No joke we did coke in some copious clumps
It was followed by a hollow, got us down in the dumps
Played Turok 64 'til my roomie erased my save
Was a loser in a war where the winner was a wave
Wake and bake, two three steaks, after dinner digestive
Liquor at the local bar that is just across the street
Every day I'd get a beer, sometimes I'm passed a Xanax
Take several tabs of acid, didn't see the disadvantage
On a lark with a lamb who likes slammin' Sambuca
Bewitched me then she ditched me, what a bitchy bazooka
Hailed a cab, it's a trap, long before the Google map
Dropped me off where they sell heroin, it's an arrow in the back
Called my buddy Michael, they called him Mike D
Ex-member of a cult, found no fault I could see
Waited in the streetlight, cross streets keeping me comp
About to lose my life because I'm dangerously drunk
Double vision, got no balance or my bearings, I'm buried
He comes around the corner, mustn't tarry, starts to carry
Barely got to our block, I heard the sound from behind
To this day I hear a jogger, I'm brought back to that time
We were surrounded by Glocks, one glistened a glare
I closed my eyes so tight, so frightened and scared
Steel was in my stomach, heater rests against my head
Took my wallet, punched my friend, hurried off like thoroughbreds
