In the earliest days of my shop-lifting career You could safely say I was filled with fear It was nail-biting work from the very start But several quick successes soon gave me heart After a while I could pick and nick with ease Some shirts and trousers and a few LPs No one ever stopped me, they didn't seem to care And sometimes it seems to me, there was no one in there Then a fine summers day my mate Ted and me Set off down the west end on our usual spree Things were as normal for an hour or so Then my nimble hands were a bit too slow Two store-detectives made a fast approach One grabbed my jacket, (you're nicked, haha!) the other grabbed my troat "So we caught you at last", one said with joy "Been after you some time, my light-fingered boy" If only I'd remembered my common sense They captured me red-handedly with evidence If I go to the manager and say I'm sorry Maybe he'll forgive me for my youthful folly "But - but what will the social worker say If - if I don't come home today? He'll gimme a clout What if they don't let me out? I told him I'm on me own Don't they understand I'm from a broken home?" I'll tell them I'm the product of a broken home And I always went out on my own Was it too late to say I'd pay And I'll never steal again till the end of my days? Because I had no friends to call as such Money and possessions I did not have much So I started to steal in order to get by The quickness of the hand deceives the eye Deceives the eye