She said, "It's just a woman thing," 
And pulled out of the drive 
I said not to worry 
I'm and understanding guy 
I heard that when you love someone 

You gotta let them go 
She hollered, "When I find myself 
You'll be the first to know." 
Ooo-hooo no news  

I've learned to do the laundry 
Feed the cat and clean the house 
I promised to be patient 
While she worked her problems out 

When she packed her bags 
Her destination was unclear 
But I sensed that her intentions 
Were honest and sincere 
Ooo-hooo no news  

She could telephone, tell a friend 
Tell a lie about where she's been 
Send a pigeon, send a fax 
Write it on a postal pack 
Send a signal up in smoke 
Tap it out in morse code 
I'd prefer a bad excuse  

To no news  

Her momma's been a little vauge 
As to her whereabouts 
Her sister says, "I'm certain 
Your romance is headed south." 

I don't have a single doubt 
That she's still in love 
My level of anxiety 
Is just a product of 
Ooo-hooo no news  

She could telephone, tell a friend 
Tell a lie about where she's been 
Send a pigeon, send a fax 
Write it on a postal pack 
Send a signal up in smoke 
Tap it out in morse code 
I'd prefer a bad excuse  

She missed her bus, missed her plane 
Surely, this can be explained 
Lost her car at the mall 
Got locked in a bathroom stall 

Joined a cult, joined the Klan 
On the road with Pearl Jam 
Buried with the Grateful Dead 
Came back as a parrot head 

Got derailed, got de-iced 
Offered as a sacrifice 
FBI, CIA, if they've seen her 
They ain't saying 
No news! Still no news!