What Will I Have

Lexa Gates

I want to cry but I feel nothing
It's like I'm living life behind this screen door
If the rent's paid, it don't matter how loud I scream
It's kind of comforting that everyone knows what I mean
Still, you don't got it like I do (No)
Still, you don't know what I've been through (No)
Still, going through it right now
Die tryna figure out how
If I don't get it right tonight, I hope I still got tomorrow
Living on borrowed time
Nothing I've ever touched was truly mine
Saying you got my back, but in time I'll find out you lying

I'm stone cold, stone cold
Stone cold, stone cold
Stone cold, stone cold
Oh, y'all turned me stone cold, stone cold
Stone cold, stone cold
Stone cold, stone cold

What will I have? (Ah)
When the sun makes its rounds and the arms holding me turn cold shoulders?
When the faces that looked up and down notice what I am now and
Never again turn towards me?
When the house that I live in burns down
And we all have to leave in a hurry empty handed?
What will I have when I notice I've never had anything but a façade?
I look at myself from above as time moves in fast forward
Wake, eat, pace, sleep
Work, eat, sleep
I catch with both hands something tangible
Mangled and dead but it's not what I wanted
Nothing is ever enough
I double in size
I begged for something I forgot why I asked for at all
I am all there is

And y'all turned me stone cold, stone cold
Stone cold, stone cold
Stone cold, stone cold
Oh, y'all turned me stone cold, stone cold
Stone cold, stone cold
Stone cold, stone cold
Ah

What will I have? (Ah)
When I notice I've never had anything but a façade? (Ah)
I look at myself from above as time moves in fast forward
Wake, eat, pace, sleep
Work, eat, sleep

Wake, eat, pace, sleep
Work, eat, sleep
Wake, eat, pace, sleep
Work, eat, sleep
Wake, eat, pace, sleep
Work, eat, sleep
Wake, eat, pace, sleep
Work, eat, sleep