Santa was stoned at Christmas How'd he get that high And what's he feedin' them reindeers That makes the bastards fly I shared a cone with Santa A happy Christmas high Santa was stoned at Christmas time And, so was I Thought I'd stopped believin' in Santa Untill last Christmas night I was havin' a quiet little cone on me own When I looked up into the sky I saw this sleigh comin' outta controle Headin' straight for my place Crashed and burned in my backyard Woah Santa was off his face Santa was stoned at Christmas How'd he get that high And what's he feedin' them reindeers That makes the bastards fly I shared a cone with Santa A happy Christmas high Santa was stoned at Christmas time And, so was I Yeah Santa was wrecked a total mess When he dropped in outta the blue In a bettered old sled full of whacky way And six bent reindeer too Now you might think That I'm makin' this up But you can think what you like Santa was stoned at Christmas time And so was I Santa was stoned at Christmas How'd he get that high And what's he feedin' them reindeers That makes the bastards fly I shared a cone with Santa A happy Christmas high Santa was stoned at Christmas time And, so was I Yeah Santa was ripped at Christmas Shit faced maggotted stoned And When I helped him untagle his reindeer He offered me a cone Well then I strapped him back In that battered old sled N'after one more toke of the bong And a crack of the whip and a 'Come you bastards' Santa Clause was gone Santa was stoned at Christmas How'd he get that high And what's he feedin' them reindeers That makes the bastards fly I shared a cone with Santa A happy Christmas high Santa was stoned at Christmas time And, so was I 'Come you bastards' Santa was stoned at Christmas How'd he get that high And what's he feedin' them reindeers That makes the bastards fly I shared a cone with Santa A happy Christmas high Santa was stoned at Christmas time And, so was I Yeah, Santa was stoned at Christmas time And so was I