Santa was in trouble, 'cause his reindeer were on strike,
And his little helpers wouldn't help at all and Christmas time was 
nigh,
So he ran an ad in the Rolling Stone for someone to lend a hand,
And ended up with an out'a work with a burnt out rock and roll band.

"We're Santa's fuckin' roadies, Santa' fuckin' roadies,
We got a gig at Christmas time helpin' Santa Claus,
We're Santa's fuckin' roadies, Santa's fuckin' roadies,
It's Christmas time so stock up the fridge and lock up your dope and 
daughters".

There were ten of 'em in total, huge big ugly men,
Covered in tats and battle scars six teeth between all ten,
And not a brain between 'em, just all this blubber and brawn,
But Santa knew that have to do to help him Christmas morn.

"We're Santa's fuckin' roadies, Santa's fuckin' roadies,
We got a gig at Christmas time helpin' Santa Claus,
We're Santa's fuckin' roadies, Santa's fuckin' roadies,
It's Christmas time so stock up the fridge and lock up your dope and 
daughters".

Rippin' rooms to pieces like fuckin' sniffer dogs,
Knock off your dope shag your daughter knock up all your grog,
A mindless massive chaos, intrusted to Saint Nick,
A stampede of stupidity to help him with his gig.

"We're santa's ducking' roadies, Santa's fuckin' roadies,
We got a gig at Christmas time helpin' Santa Claus,
We're Santa's fuckin' roadies, Santa's fuckin' roadies, 
It's Christmas time so stock up the fridge and lock up your dope and 
daughters".

So if you wanna be a Santa's roadie, then all you need to know,
Is how to rage and party all night and how to handle snow,
So if you'd like to help out Santa, and you're prepared to have a go,
Just chug a lug'a beer and say after me, ho ho fucking ho,
"Ho ho fucking ho".

We're Santa's fuckin' roadies, Santa's fuckin' roadies,
We got a gig at Christmas time helpin' santa Claus,
We're Santa'a fuckin' roadies, Santa's fuckin' roadies,
"It's Christmas time so stock up the fridge and lock up your dope and 
daughters,

We're Santa's fuckin' roadies, Santa's fuckin'' roadies, 
We got a gig at Christmas time helpin' Santa Claus,
We're Santa'a fuckin' roadies, Santa's fuckin' roadies,
It's Christmas time so stock up the fridge and lock up your dope and 
daughters.

It's Christmas time so stock up the fridge and lock up your dope and 
daughters".