I've give up wanking this morning
I never thought that I could I'm feelin
better already and this time I'm off it
for good When I first wanked
I's thought I's so clever
And all of me makes, they were mugs
Thought I was the first bloke here
on earth who'd ever played with his slug
It was me own little secret
and I never told anyone
and the feelin' I got the first time I shot
was like chooks flyin' out o' me bum
so I'm givin' up wanking...tomorrow
I never thought that I could
then I won't get these bad headaches
and then I'll be off it for good
I've wanked in some unlikely places
the shower, the beach and pool
a dunny, a tram a dunny and the pictures
and ebiology classes at school
and once me grandmother caught me
wankin' meself in me room
but to her suprise I just shut me eyes
and Imagined her standin' there nude
I'mgivin' up wanking... next tuesday
I never thought that I could
and then I won't skwint like I do now
and then I'll be off it for good
me dad says it's gonna take willpower
ther really is no easy trick
I honestly thought I'dneed surgery
to help get me hand ogff me dick
me dad's been a great inspiration
he really has been a great help
he knows what I go though and just what yo do
cause he give it up yester'd himself
so I'm givin' up wanking next erid'
I never thought that I could
and then I'll be off it for good
so if you don't wank you're a lair
and a fool if you say that you do
so next time you see,
prince charles on tv remember
he wanks himself too so
I'm givin' up wanking come christmas
I never thought that I could and
I'll sell me dog and me white cane and then
I'II throw away me dark glasses
and then I'll be off it for good
