Well it's one two three four, five-second foreplay,
That's all the time it takes to turn a red hot lover on
And it's, one two three four, five-second foreplay,
Ready or not, here I come.

The band shut down at eleven, she had to be home by twelve,
And it's five minutes flat out to seven mile hill and that's goin' like a 
bat out'a hell,
Got all your gear and goff before you got there, got the ol' fella 
pumped and primed,
Got her legs spread eagle either side'a the dash and I'm gonna get a 
fuck tonight, hahahaha.

And it's one two three four, five-second foreplay,
All it took was couple of bundy and cokes and a smoke to turn her on
And it's, one two three four, five-second foreplay,
Ready or not, here I come.

Or your first ever fuck in the brothel, on the red light side'a town,
And your hard-on's givin' you a hernia, and your ballbag's  weighin' 
you down,
And your waitin' your turn at the end'a the queue got your ol' fella 
pumped and primed,
Haven't had a wank since smoko, been savin' it up for tonight.

And it's one two three four, five-second foreplay,
Who gives a fuck how long it takes to, bang a franger on
And it's, one two three four, five-second foreplay,
Ready or not, here I come.

Or the ritual root on paydays, after comin' home pissed from the pub,
And you're dreamin' 'bout Dolly Parton, slappin' it and tryin' to get it 
up,
But you're fuller than a bishop's ballbag, and you're tryin' to tuck it in 
with your thumbs,
Whack her on the ass with the knob'a your cock, you 'wake love?

And it's one two three four, five-second foreplay, 
I think I felt her move I think I've really turned her on
And it's, one two three four, five-second foreplay,
Ready or not, here I come.

And it's one two three four, five-second foreplay,
She mumbled somethin' dirty I think I've really turned her on
And it's, one two three four, five-second foreplay,
Ready or not, here I come.

Ready or not, here I come.

Ah ready or not, here I come.