Everybody loves a nut The whole world loves a weirdo Brain's are in a rut But, everybody loves a nut There was a hermit named Fred Who kept a dead horse in his cave And everyone said to Fred "Fred, how come you keep a dead horse in your cave?" And he said "Well..." Everybody loves a nut... A Columbia man named Frank Had a tiger named Hank He tried to put Hank in his tank Guess what happened to old Frank? When they picked up his teeth, hair and eyeballs Erected a tombstone that read: Everybody loves a nut... Another Columbia fella Told Queen Isabella I don't think the world is flat Now what do you think about that? And she said "You don't?" And he said "No mamme" And she said "You get outta my Queendom" And he said "Yes mamme" Everybody loves a nut... (2x)