"Hello, the program you are about to watch is a special presentation brought to you by IHTV's public broadcasting network This program was made possible by the efforts of Illuminati Hotties corporation, and contributions from little shredders like you. Thank you!" You wish You were Like her Like her Joni is a punk babe Joni is the second wave Joni is a black jean jacket Joni's in the first band Joni has a cool hand Joni knows the problem is systematic Joni cut the tour line Joni doesn't have time Joni likes to dart on stage Joni's on a juice cleanse Joni doesn't need friends Cause Joni's got the whole room trained You wish You were Like her Like her I bet she never looks your way I bet she never looks your way I bet she never cared I bet she never cared I bet she never cared about you You wish You were Like her Like her When Joni's on a first date Joni goes to third base And when you wake up Joni's long gone Now Joni's at the desert house where only Joni sings loud Cause Joni never wrote a bad song You wish You were Like her I bet she never looks your way I bet she never looks your way I bet she never cared I bet she never cared I bet she never cared about you Joni's got a brand new mullet Fast and cool as a silver bullet And she's on your couch And she wants you to pull it! I bet she never looks your way I bet she never looks your way I bet she never cared I bet she never cared I bet she never cared about you You wish You were Like her Like her