Girls in California complain they got it rough
They'll check up on your bank accounts if you don't drive a truck

If your pockets are not deep enough a tantrum will ensue
Did you rifle through my wallet? now I know what I must do

This, that, this, that, the evidence is clear
This, that, this, that why don't you disappear
This, that, this, that under boulders I will hide
It's time for a mail order bride

It would be ideal to lease the perfect tart
It's cheap to ship her cargo but I don't have the heart
If I save my invoice she can be returned
No formal education so I know I won't get burned

This, that, this, that, the evidence is clear
This, that, this, that why don't you disappear
This, that, this, that under boulders I will hide
It's time for a mail order bride

The skies begin to clear
Best be pouring me a beer
No longer I will hide
I got's me a mail order bride

This, that, this, that, the evidence is clear
This, that, this, that why don't you disappear
This, that, this, that under boulders I will hide
It's time for a mail order bride

Apprehended at the border
Yeah, she couldn't get across
I'm marooned on my own island
No more mail order bride