I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you 
Than go to the pictures or the zoo 
I'm very daft at dancing, at moonlight or romancing 
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you. 

I've never been one for billiards or darts 
I'm much too shy to play a game of hearts. 
At dog tracks or the races I always lose my braces 
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you. 

Here I am, a funny sort of guy, I wouldn't dare to hold your hand 
Let's begin, maybe I'll let you win, I hope that you understand 
Sitting around a table for two, that's the only thing I want to do 
There's something cute about you, I couldn't do without you 

Playing a simple game, tell me you feel the same 
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you. 

I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you 
Than take you to a French non-stop revue. 
It may not be so funny, but still it saves me money. 
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you. 

I haven't the manly figure for sports, 
I never think I look my best in shorts. 
I lose my breath at biking and as for that mixed hiking 
I'd rather play noughts and crosses with you. 

One fine day, if luck should come my way, we'll have a little kitchenette. 
You and me, and when we've had our tea, I hope that you won't forget 

Playing at noughts and crosses with you 
That's the only way that I can woo 
Though now you're far above me, in time you'll learn to love me 
Isn't it bold and bad - but I feel a lad. 
Playing at noughts and crosses with you.