I had my fun 'til my fun turned in To humiliation and a suicide scare I try to lead with love but I hurt everyone That gets close enough to show me that they care I cry alone in my room or out back With my finger down my throat expelling shame I can't bear Every day I say I'm done 'til I see that setting sun But tonight I'm gonna fight white knuckle I lost my passion and my looks My stomach's turning like a brook I told my best friend I wanted to buy a gun I don't know how I wound up here Feels like I lost so many years Spend all my time saying sorry to everyone I don't know how I wound up here The smallest thing brings me to tears And once they're gone I am completely numb I don't know how I wound up here I resent the insight of life experience All these lessons only bring me harm All these battles only leave me scarred Oh how I long to go back to the start Oh how I long to go back to the start