Take a kid who can't sing A song with a zing That makes a whole audience glow Add some dancers in tights Some costumes, some lights And what d'you know, you've got a show A comic whose nose is red as a rose Whose tie can revolve on its bow He'll laugh and he'll clown Then he'll fall down And what d'you know, you've got a show One moment you're going berserk and It's one of those terrible days Next moment, the magic, it's working And that's show business, to coin a phrase Some gals and some guys with stars in their eyes A spirit of "Get up and Go" A curtain will rise and to our surprise Well what d'you know, we've got a show All right, quiet on stage Overture and beginners please Get ready for your cues House lights down. OK lights Have a smile for everyone you meet And everyone will have a smile for you Every mile along life's fancy street Is filled with wretched proof Each tomorrow brings new sorrows So why bother to borrow tears The thing to do is Have a smile for everyone you meet And they will have a smile for you And now a little recitation entitled "She was only..." I say, I say, I say Kindly, don't interrupt while I'm entertaining the people I've just been playing cards with some Africans Oh really, Zulus? Oh no, I won five pounds Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle What did the raindrops sprinkle Tie a little bit to your dancing shoes And the sun will shine I say, do you know what a mountain calls its young? Say, no, what does the mountain call its young? Simple. Hi, Cliff! He's very well known as Algy To the ladies on the stage A jolly good chap is Algy Just now he's all the rage And a jolly good theory, that's Algy With the barmaids at the cry He's very well known, that's Algy As the Piccadilly Johnny with the little glass eye Ginjah, Ginjah, the young Captain Ginjah Jolly old pot, owned a yacht In [?], he said wot wot I love the ladies, not one of them would I endanger All the girls love Ginjah, Ginjah Ginjah Ginjah Joshuah, Joshuah, why don't you call and see my Ma She'll be pleased to know, you are my best beau Joshuah, Joshuah, nicer than lemon squash you are Yes by gosh you are Joshu-osh-uah Where did you get that hat? Where did you get that tie? Isn't it a lovely one? It's just the proper style I should like to have one just the same as that Where I do go they shout, where did you get that hat I say, there's a man at the door with a dog called Fred Oh really, what's the man's name Please notice our feet never leave our ankles Does Fred Astaire have a sister? Boy was he glad to get rid of it Shall we dance Make it change Mr. Arthur Murray we could use you in a hurry What d'you know, we gotta a show What d'you know, he's got a Crying, talking, sleeping, walking Living Doll We've got a free and glorious Gay uproarious What d'you know, we've got a show