If I was Connie Britton Man, I tell you what I'd do I'd brush my hair every morning On the weekends, too If I was Connie Britton You'd know me by my walk And if I got pulled over I'd only have to talk I'd say, I don't know ya'll Something don't seem right And the cops could not resist They'd let me off with a warning, they would And I'd blow 'em all a kiss If I was Connie Britton, yeah! Hold on Everything would go my way If I was Connie Britton I'd be forgiven for my sins I'd never read a tabloid once I'd wear turquoise to the gym Leather pants in the summertime Hot pants in the cold Man, if I was Connie Britton I would have so many clothes Yes I would now! Well come on! Everything would go my way I'd sleep beneath a chandelier I'd live on Chinese herbs My skin would smell like berries And my feet would never hurt If I was Connie Britton I'd drive a long, pink Cadillac When people saw me coming They would know just where I was at I'd drive up to the top of the hill I'd park above the clouds I'd wait until the trumpets blow And maybe then I might come down If I was Connie Britton Hold on! Everything would go my way Come on! I'd never have to walk in chains If I was Connie Britton Everything would go my way