What do 
Crystal Gayle 
Dorothy Hamill 
Don King
Lyle Lovett
and Gloria Steinem have in common
They are Prisoners of Their Hairdos 
Prisoners of Their Hair
If they changed the way they combed their hair 
They'd never be recognized anywhere
They're prisoners 
What do 
Stevie Nicks
Leon Redbone
Pee Wee Herman
Tom Wolfe 
and Pope John Paul have in common
They are prisoners of their wardrobes 
Prisoners of their clothes
If they changed the outfits that they wear
Nobody would stop and stare
They're prisoners
It's a little tragic, it's a little weird 
ZZ Top are prisoners of their beards 
Imagine them weightless in outerspace 
Beards and shades flyin' all over the place 
Don't worry, that'll never happen, except maybe in a music video 
There's a very fine line 
Between a groove and rut 
Fine line between eccentrics 
And people who are just plain nuts 
Aw but why should I concern myself 
With such superficial fare
'Cause I'm a prisoner of these stupid thoughts 
Which is worse than being a prisoner of my haaaaair do
I wonder if Crystal Gayle has ever had a bad dream about being trapped with Ted Koppel, 
And Mary Travers. Being chased by a wild pack of sissors toward a swimming pool filled with
Nair. Oh my gawd what a nightmare that would be for Crystal Gayle. 
Wake up Crystal Gayle. 
Wake up.
Oh no, here comes Dolly Parton. What is she doing in this song? 
She's only a prisoner of a wig. 
Get out of here Dolly, you don't belong. 
No offense.
Oh my goodness! It's the B-52's. 
They're not prisoners of