Drinking by my lonesome, Not sure who to call
Everybody only see the outside think I ball
But they don't really know me at all
Never walked in my shoes never saw what I saw
I rap at late nites
I'm writing letters to my father he ain't never Finna read
A picturing of my life, flower as you see
And wondering bout his thoughts the day when I was conceived
Life it deceive shit I was taught that it would be alright
Now it doesn't correspond by with what I see at night
Uh, things turn sour on that day in April
Damn near tried to hang myself with cables in the garage
The life it get hard if you think I'm any different cause they view me as a star
Well then you are just far from the truth
Lost my father at 16, mother worry bout landowners evicting boy it gets sickening
Can't fall dying every day up on the big screen
And all I got is big dreams
All for that money people with switch teams
And I would give it all to take your name from that obituary listing
Are you listening cause I'll be yelling at the sky like "did you miss me?"
Pops, cause I think about you every day
I never got the say goodbye, I want that shit in every way
Every day I roll learn to toast in your honor
It's awful hard to be a man when you don't got yourself a father
But I carry on
Just hoping that I make you proud
And fuck my opposition now you're trying to take me out
They just don't know
They just don't know
I rap at late night
Still writing letter to my father he ain't ever Finna read
Cause still from the outside pain it inside
They ask bout my coping skills lately I been high
I swear I got a couple pills with me
Couple of home boys they say they kill with me
An angel was on my shoulder
I don't think it's still with me
See like the devil prevail
Is that the story every bezel entell
I swear I got myself a fan base to love my life
Think I'm doing something right so they run up with they homeboys and they freestyles like that's fucking tight?
Meanwhile I've been dealing with the depression
I can't escape if I don't have progression
Swear I need a session like every night
It's like a fix to me, you let your emotions at home
And now they stick to me, shit
And that's a heavy weight to hold on
Never did learn how to swim
How should I float on, now I never had no option to give
I get my vowed on
You just packing shit and left and I was so long ago
And I feel like it was yesterday
I ain't seen my heart ever since
Put my chest away cause this here today and it's gone tomorrow
Wish there was more time that I could borrow
It's gone tomorrow
Wish there was more time that I could borrow
I write this song, in remembrance of my father that
Past way on April 20th 2009 it was probably a regular day ta most of y'all but it's the day I lost my best friend, my mentor, my father
And this crazy type of criticism and just descending you could receive from
A large portion of people that have never met me and never been through anything that I've been through
And that's why my father he used to keep me real level headed
And tell me to do my own thing and not worry about all the excess and
Is always gonna be hate you from all size but
You know at the end of the day they just don't know
