Well, that big dump blonde 
With her wheel in the gorge
Turtle, that friend of theirs 
With his checks all forged
And his cheeks in a chunk 
With his cheese in the cash
They're all gonna be there 
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.

Everybody from right now 
Go ever there and back
The louder they come 
The bigger they crack
Come now, sweet cream 
Don't forget to flash
We're all gonna meet 
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.

Well, I took my counselor 
Out to the barn
Silly Nelly was there 
She told me a yarn
Then along came Jones 
Emptied the trash
Everybody went down 
To that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.
Well, I'm hittin' it too hard 
My stones won't take
I'm get up in the mornin' 
But it's too early to wake
First it's hello, goodbye 
Then push and then crash
But we're all gonna make it 
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.

Well, I looked at my watch 
I looked at my wrist
Punched myself in the face 
With my fist
I took my potatoes 
Down to be mashed
Then I made it over to 
That million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.