With my qualifications With my qualifications I could get me a job walking a dog Chopping a log, cleaning a bog With my qualifications With my qualifications I could see myself stacking a shelf As a sales assistant at Do-It -Yourself With my qualifications With my qualifications My brother worked night and day At the Eurostar Terminal And the government gave it away So what's the point in university? For three years I read philosophy Now I read barcodes all day long Beep-beep-beep sings that check-out song With my qualifications Talking bout my qualifications Would you like to see my Ph.D.? My BSE? My GCSE? I gotta first in physics so I ought to know If your fries are for here or to go