There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy, He lived in a cage the size of his thumb And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks, He galloped around until hit by a car Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird Just to remind myself I'll never fly Sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes Just to pretend I won't scream when I die If my life was as long as the moon's, I'd still be jealous of the sun If my life lasted only one day, I'd still be drunk by noon, Yes, I'd still be drunk by noon. Sometimes I hope to come down with cancer At least then I'll get to watch TV all day And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers Even if all my questions are taken away. If my life was as long as the moon's, I'd still be jealous of the sun If my life lasted only one day, I'd still be drunk by noon, I'd still be drunk by noon.