There's one guy I'd like to thank He signs the checks and leaves them blank He's the one He says you don't have to walk a plank The game is rigged, go fig your Slide show tanked And your flagship sank So we're taking all our myths to the bank So just don't forget who to thank We're taking our myths to the Drinking a fifth to the We're taking all our myths to the bank If you could just do him this favor Although it might involve child labor Join his entourage Give him a foot massage From Star Search to the Philharmonic He'll get you there with Hooked on Phonics He's the one to know Doesn't matter if you blow – no no In fact it's just the thing He thinks we're needing It's a lukewarm liquid diet They're force feeding When the words we use have lost their bite Now they hit you like an imaginary pillow fight But it's all right Cause you're inside And you're in tight Deals in commodities of the abstract sort Buys them in bulk but sells them short Talent, genius, love even signs of affection He floods the market there's no price protection And when his master plan is unfurled There stands a handsome bid on the weather systems of the world